Ne m'appelez plus jamais bacon!!!!

The gentille Lady where I live, elle s'appelle Clo, is an antiquarian bookdealer. She vendre some livres anciens... I was bouquiner the autre day, and I found ceci!!! Un livre about breeding and feeding of the bacon pork!!! Fascinant!!! But the most important, is that I découvrir que I was not a bacon pork! Look!!!! Regardez!!!!! Ci-dessous below, the photo of a typical gros verrat noir! The big black boar!!! Yeech!!!!!!!!!!! Come on! I don't look comme cela!!!!! I'm PINK, LITTLE, and I'm CUTE!!!! If I ever rencontrer that monstre, I'm not certain that I would savoir from what side to parler to him!!!!!

LIFE IS STRANGE....

Yesterday, je suis allé in the frigo, the fridge, to have un petit snack! Alors, I saw again that grosse box and finally decided to open it! *!!!??!!??!???!???* Oh, I was so émotionné! There was full of big EGG-OOO in the box! I began to parler, but, how foolish of me, I was talking in french! So I took my best english accent and said: "Hhhhilllo, zi eggooooooooooooooooo!"

Believe it or not, I talked and parler for a while, I never could recevoir any answer!

But I finalement découvrir pourquoi! When I closed the box, I regarder on it and it was written "extra large size"!!! And my friend Egg-OOO is a medium size!

Now, I wonder why it is just les grosseurs médiums qui parlent... Maybe it is because he is boiled? Ahhhh, so tant de questions, and so little time....

Leçon de karaté...

Il y a deux semaines, Lapin Poulain gave moi my first leçon de karaté! He began to expliquer moi that the most important était to salute, so we did!

Et lorsque we are trying to cut a peace of wood, we have to salute too!

Noter le salut aussi at the end!

I was très, très nerveux, but I tried... The salut...

The concentration....

...and YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, it worked!

Après, I practice my coup de pied! Yaaaaa, yaaaa, yaaaaa!

Mais je practiced a little too much and my little pied touched the petit nose of Lapin... Oups!...

But Lapin is a très, très Zen personne, so he didn't mind! Instead, il m'a montré some figures...
This one is called "your pied need to relax".

And celle-ci: "Coutchi, coutchi in the eye", but it was hurting a little...

And this one: "Telling un secret to the flying Pig who's gonna crash!"

And this last one's name is just: "Outch, my back!"

Nous étions épuisés, exausted, but we had such a wonderful time!...

Yesterday evening, un miracle happen! I was lentement dying when a délicieux odeur arrived to my nose agonisant. I was soudainement raised from my bed, et, floating in the air, I went from the chambre à coucher to the kitchen...

Alors, I forgot about all my problèmes, my little coeur began to beat normalement: the fettuccini carbonara saved my life! OINK!!!!!

Je suis sous le choc!

This morning, en me rasant, soudainement, the truth appeared to moi!

I REALIZED THAT HELLCAT WAS NOT IN LOVE WITH MOI!

It was so clair, so sure, so évident... Then I cut myself and a litlle bit of stuffing went out of my chin... But I didn't cried.

Now, I will me coucher and see if I will die in a long and painful agony...

Yeah! J'ai mon passeporc!

Oui, oui, oui, a real passeporc! Just for me! Remarquez le "c" de passeporc! Isn't that totally crazzy? Those people are so nice! Et aussi, when I asked for a spécial Visa for Down Under, they said: "No problemo!" J'ai même rencontré, yes, yes I met him in person, the Consul Général of Down Under, a very nic..... well, a very special person...

Passons aux choses sérieuses!

OK... WHERE IS AUSTRALIA!!!!!

Bon, ici is my point de départ! Hello moi!

Ohhhhhhhh! Eurêka! J'ai trouvé! I found it! Here, A U S T R A L I E! Hello ma coutchinette!

Oh, comme it is far far away... There is a très, très immense océan between us.... And moi qui ne sait pas nager... The swine doesn't swim....

So, peut-être que je could pass by this place? A-F-R-I-Q-U-E! Oh, isn't it the land of that dangereux animal? L'autruche? Oh, Mon Dieu! But nothing could stop moi from aller rejoindre ma belle Hellcat, mon adorée! Non, rien, no océan, no désert, no tempête, no autruche... nothing!!!!!!!!!

Hier soir, the parade du Carnaval!

Oink!

Une soirée d'adieu... peut-être.

Yesterday, je suis allé visiter my cousins, Princesse et Merlin!

On these photos, remarquez the cute petit hat and the cute litlle foulard! My friend Clo had knit those pour moi! On the below pictures, my cousins are having fun with the hat. We call those hat une tuque! It is for winter. Because I bientôt will go for a long voyage, I will need some special clothes...


Cousine Princesse was a bit angry avec moi because of something not nice I said to her... So I had to charm her a little... it works!

We chat a while (oh, quelle bonne blague, chat! Huh, huh, huh...) then she gave me an orange! She knows j'adore les oranges, but I think she gave it to me because she hates those... On the above photo, we are regarder the stars... Then, I told her: "L'amour, c'est regarder tous les deux dans la même direction..." That means: "Love is looking together in the same direction!"

Alors, Mademoiselle Princesse answered: "Don't push it too much, Cochon!"

Quelle magnifique party! But, of course, I finir it alone, because, vous savez, cats are always sleeping! So Monsieur Merlin and Mademoiselle princesse left me alone and sont allés se coucher very, very early...

Ohhhhh! La vérité sur moi...Ohhhhh! The truth about me...

Cette semaine, I décider to go in Australia to see mon adorée Hellcat!!! But, I need un passeport! Mioink! Terrible décision to take! I will have to show mon réel moi!

Ok, j'avoue... Above, this is moi... All my chilhood, j'étais complexé about my eyes... Usually, pigs have little piggy's eyes, yeux porcins. But there is some in ma famille qui ont those big eyes... I was afraid Hellcat could rejeter moi! So I asked un cousin, Arnold, to pose pour moi... So, below, it is Arnold, mon cousin et meilleur ami. Merci Arnold!

Ceci est ma photo de passeport! It's a little bit dull, but vous savez, they told me not to smile... Now, I have to wait for mon passeport, une ou deux weeks! Then.... Australia! Hmmm, I will have to know where is that country of ma petite minounette Hellcat! Elle est si charmante!

Hellcat, m'aimez-vous toujours aussi passionnément? Me, I do. Meowoink!

Darling, I'm coming to Australia!

MIRACLE!?!?!?

As usual in the garbages
suddenly felt strange...
Pffft.... grrrhhh.... cough... cough...
ohhhhh something tough...

What? A hairball!!!!
For a pig, it's unusual...
But this is what I call
The miracle de l'amour!!!!!!!!!!!!

For you, Hellcat!
:@)
Meowwwww

HELLCAT, MON AMOUR, IS BACK!!!

Ma petite chérie!
Bisous! Bisous!
On the nez!
Sur les ears!
And your little chin-chin!